These trucker jokes are hail-arious

Since our first post with trucking jokes has been so popular, we wanted to share a few more. So here are a few more clean trucking jokes to help keep you moving.

A long-range trucker was returning home for the holidays
He was looking forward to seeing his family. However, the snows of December were coming in, and eventually, it was a full blizzard. He decided to pull over and stay overnight in a little town. The next morning, he went to a diner to get breakfast. He saw eggs benedict on the menu. The waiter said it would be the best eggs benedict he ever had, so he ordered it. It came out on a hubcap. He thought it was odd, but nobody was saying anything. He took a bite, and it was the best thing he’d ever tasted. When he was ready for the check, he told the waiter that it was phenomenal. When he asked about the hubcap, the waiter said,

There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.


Q: What do you call a trucker wearing a suit and tie?
A: the defendant

Source: I’m a trucker. (reformed)

For the young and/or foreign:
Defendant – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia‎

In a criminal trial, a defendant is any person accused (charged) of committing an offense (a crime), an act defined as punishable under criminal law.


Fork in the road
I was walking down the street today when a tow truck driver pulled up alongside me and said, “Excuse me, I’m looking for the accident site involving a van carrying a load of cutlery.”

“No problem,” I said. “Go straight down this road for 1 mile, then take the first left, and when you get to the fork in the road, you’re there.”


Trucker vs. Bridge
One day a trucker got slightly stuck with his load under an overpass on a busy stretch of highway.

It wasn’t long before a cop stopped by to check things out. He had sized up the situation and then advised the trucker to let some air out of his tires so that he could move on.

The trucker replied, “I’m stuck at the top officer, not at the bottom.”


A cop pulled a truck driver over who was driving around with a truck full of penguins.

“You can’t keep these penguins in your truck!” The cop said, “You need to take them to the zoo!”

The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove of.

The next day the cop pulled the same truck driver over. The truck was still full of penguins.

“Didn’t I tell you to take the penguins to the zoo?” The cop asked angrily.

“I did that yesterday!” The truck driver said, “Today, we’re going to Disneyland!”


Sir, you are speeding
A truck driver was speeding down the highway.

A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver.

Driver: “Afternoon officer.”

Officer: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

Driver: “Yessir, I was speeding.”

“Oh?” exclaims the officer, a bit surprised. “And do you have a reason for speeding?”

Driver: “Yessir. My wife left me this morning.”

Officer: “I’m sorry to hear that, but that doesn’t count as a valid excuse for speeding, sir.”

Driver: “Well, sir. She left me for a police officer. And I thought you were bringing her back.”


Truck driver found a genie…
Genie: I grant you one wish.

Driver: I need a clean, toll-free personal road from NY to CA.

Genie: Well, that’s a governmental issue. Many states and federal agencies involved. I can’t grant you that. Anything else for sure.

Driver: How about my wife liking my family.

Genie: How many lanes you need?


Truckers Retirement
Why can’t truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi-retire.